Men’s Club

I saw an astrologer a couple of years ago and one of the things that he told me that pops into my head now again was that this is my first life as a woman.

My first best friend was Krissy Livengood, but the next was a boy. Hard to believe, but Phillip Kent and I caught tad poles and played kick ball and had sleep overs, and ever since I’ve felt more relaxed, less on guard, in the company of males. We did have a minor misunderstanding about rock concerts, but it was mutual, and our parents were very patient as they sat in his backyard and listened to us as we described each specimen in our collection.

Women are often a mystery to me and the girl code is something that I feel like I’ve never unlocked. Women tell me things and I believe them. They say, “Don’t come,” or “Don’t cook,” or “It’s not dressy,” and I think that they mean it, but I find myself standing in my kitchen five phone calls later still trying to determine if it is better to go or to cook or to slip on a strapless.

Men are easier, usually. They are more straightforward, mostly. They can be crafty, sometimes, but even then it might work out to one’s advantage.

The design in all of these images is the work of artist, Frank Faulkner. I initially found Faulkner’s work trolling Stephanie Hoppen’s Perfect Neutrals; the first two images were found there, photographed by Simon Upton. The last two are via his site. You can see Faulkner’s current residence on Pretty Pink Tulips here.
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30 thoughts on “Men’s Club

  1. I'll help you with women if you'll help me with men.
    I got two great prints at the River Market Antique Mall yesterday, English hunt scenes, plates 1 & 4, from a series called "Bachelor's Hall." Would fit in these rooms perfectly.
    Also, those chairs in that first picture might be my most favorite ever.

  2. Hi Mrs B
    I think you are right about the majority of women. Is it because they want to dissarm other women. [Why did I even say that]. Aren't we all supposed to be part of the sisterhood. It is a pity that this discussion needs to be had.Why are some women like that?

    I always end up at parties and other gatherings talking to the men
    Why? Because it is far more interesting to me.
    I have a few women friend who inspire me and will hold my interest probably forever but they never say, don't come, don't cook,or it's not dressy.

    Really it comes down to this….
    Does this person[male or female] make me feel good about myself,am I having fun and are these feelings recipricated?


  3. I get it. Having worked with men most my life, I am completely comfortable in their company. I also have noticed that many of my favorite saved images of rooms are masculine in color and style. One of my favorite rooms in my own home has dark brown walls.

  4. Todd – if you can help me with that angels may sing. And the chairs are terrific. Congrats on the prints – we should go together sometime.

    Anon – you mean not all towns are?

    MOB – I have a few friends like that, too. As it turns out, a few is all you need.

    House Things – I did think I would get it by now – chances are not looking good for this lifetime.

  5. Patricia, when I began reading the post I thought of that film with Tilda Swinton, "Orlando".

    When I was around 5 or 6 years old I had 2 best boy friends as well. I think for me, in terms of adult friendships, it's always about the individual. You know how I always like to distinguish between 'girlie' and 'feminine' 🙂

  6. I am a Libra. I blame it on the stars. I learned in high school girls don't want any one to be a standout, a success. They want a homogenous pack. It's that self policing of each other that drives me nuts. I refused to learn those "melding" skills. Suffocates the holy hell—and the creative spirit—right out of me. I would rather live in solitude than in the company of those "gals" (hate that word). Men are easier. I tell my husband that their biology is much simpler: sex, shelter, food and sleep. Throw in a remote control and you've got everything covered!

  7. A & A – a lot, a lot, of my tear sheets have very structured details like this. There is a fair amount with chintz as well.

    CHE and Tish – the ones who get it must be at the gym already; we seem to be a numerous bunch.

    Court – you're right, there is a world of difference there.

    HBD – many do like sports. It's where we part ways. I do think your summation of high school is spot on.

  8. I'm with home before dark (libra also) – and remote is crucial – one object my husband doesn't like to share. I was an inveterate tom boy and always had boys as friends with one or two close girl friends thrown in for good measure – but never a group. And after college always had male roommates – so much easier! As for the post – ADORE all the images, especially the first – so elegant and civilized – a bit reminiscent of Bill Blass' CT place

  9. Girl Code. Now I know what to call the syndrome. I have never been able to read it and lately have been experiencing the backlash of being out of the pack. I thought that the sorority stage/high school mean stage would have disappeared by now. But it definitely has not. But I am learning to maintain silence and just be me. Plus, I have tons of male dealer friends who are teaching me about the crazy female. Such a journey. Love all of these photos–strait forward great design. Have a great day.

  10. I've seen you in a cocktail dress, if other women are telling you "it's not dressy" they clearly have their own interests in mind. Don't listen.

  11. JK – I'm sure your right.

    Q – why, oh why, didn't I think of male roommates? That would have saved me a lot of grief.

    Mary – It doesn't seem to go away – it just morphs.

    Porter – Do click the link to see the recent pics – delicious.

    David – see. Boys are better. And, thanks.

  12. In college they called us GDI's. God Damn Independents because we would not join a sorority.
    still don't get why anyone would want to.

    GDI and proud of it.

  13. The "it's not dressy"or "wear whatever you like" does not work at all with men OR women- I am a grown man and was invited to a birthday party last Feb. the hostess is one of my best friends and her instructions were"Wear what ever" I pressed her and got"Just anything you like"- SO with these guidlines, I arrived in a kilt , cowboy boots and a "No Fat Chicks"t-shirt someone gave me years ago as a joke- She is now a little more specific- Moral "Ladies, just say what you mean-men aren't any good at mind reading"

  14. i was never particularly girly, always thought some essential gene was missing. curiously, my decorating style is definitely more masculine (much like these images in fact) an never did get the whole domino thing.

    good post.

  15. Very funny. I think the difference for me is not male or female, but whether or not they notice what I wear. I always try to analyze the host;what do they think is dressy or not. Some people mean dressy, as it no paint, egg on shirt or dog hair. Others mean casual as in fine slacks and flats, or short dresses, not long. I don't generally think they mean sabotage, but that words are slippery. If I think it really matters to someone that much what I wear, then we aren't actually friends.

  16. Slightly off-topic but as regards the photos: I'm lucky enough to own one of Frank Faulkner's former houses in Hudson NY AND some of his old furniture. His work is extraordinary and he's a real, old-fashioned charmer.

  17. I can oddly relate.

    I often feel confused around women, never around men. I have always had more male than female close friends, gay and straight.

    My design style is not very feminine, although I have done feminine rooms for others. But I am quite domestic, ironing almost everything and loving to entertain. When it comes to fashion it is whatever mood strikes me, and I do like to get dressed up. Now you got me thinking about what all of that means. Hm……



  18. Mrs. Blandings, love your blog! However, am disappointed that you disparagingly generalize about women as friends. Get to know some women in a local homeless shelter program, soup kitchen, or domestic violence program and you might find that women as friends are not all so monolithically superfical,fickle, and unfathomable.

  19. Anon – I wasn't really talking about friends. I have a few very good friends. I was referring more to frenemies – and I'm pretty sure you can find them anywhere.

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