Spin the Wheel

This week has been a bit of a meander with no discussion of interior design, so let’s finish it up that way and perhaps I’ll reboot for next week. Not to go too long without pulling something from a magazine, I bring you Belief-O-Matic via O, the Oprah Magazine. A quick-ish (though be prepared for a million pop-ups) quiz to help you figure out where you fall in the spiritual spectrum. Before you click off in a huff, I am not making fun. Mary Karr’s latest book, Lit, landed in my lap at a time when putting some framework around my belief system has seemed significant. Hitherto, I’ve cobbled together what I believe like I gather book advice, sort of scribbled notes that I find months later at the bottom of a bag. Something that I thought about that I meant to get back to.

In Lit, Karr describes her journey through alcoholic recover to Catholicism without making me blanch. Me, who flips closed the lifestyle section of the Saturday paper a page early to avoid the Beliefs section. After twenty questions, here are the Belief-O-Matic’s picks for me:

This is interesting and amusing only because my friend, the chicken sex expert, has been trying to set me up with the Unitarian church for a couple of years.

The bottom five contained no surprises, though I did say, “I told you so,” to my deceased mother at the last place finish of the religion of my youth. Still, I bear the Church no grudge; She provided a framework I value still.
Click over and see what comes up. I keep telling Mr. Blandings that I think we should both set up profiles on Match.com to see if a computer would set us up. So far, he’s declined. (Speaking of chickens.) This could be a little bit like that. In any event, your boss could hardly get mad at your taking an online survey about religion.
Also, the biggest ads? CB2 and One King’s Lane. Maybe there is some correlation between spiritual discovery and a quest for great glasses.
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38 thoughts on “Spin the Wheel

  1. Fun post. I just took the test and scored 100% on mainline liberal Christian protestant. Not exactly a surprise, since that is exactly what I am! Reggie

  2. I hit the Unitarian Universalism the same as you, with a slightly different mix following. Interestingly, because I was just doing some reading on it last week, number 4 was secular humanism. You're more neo-pagan than I am, I'm kind of envious.

  3. As an RC, I always refer to MOTH as a 'Heathen Presbyterian', does that fall under the Unitarian thingie? I triple dare you to drag Mr. B kicking & screaming to Match.com. I would love to see his profile after he's written it. I reckon like MOTH's it would fall in the Fantasy section!
    Millie ^_^

  4. So as not to seem a total bigot, I guess I should say that I'm a Mainline to Liberal Protestant Christian clergyperson, so my score on the Belief-O-Matic is job security.

  5. Stick to interiors. You should not lead people when you are obviously so lost yourself. Taking an online quizz to determine your religion, really?

  6. Stick to interiors or interesting stories about where you have traveled or bunnies in your yard. It seems folish to determine religion from an Oprah Online Quiz. Really. Oprah has interesting guests but is no religious leader.

  7. Very interesting. My results are very similar to yours, and my mother, still living, would also be horrified by the rankings. Thanks for sharing this.

  8. Reggie – I imagine that is a good sign for both you and the quiz.

    David – I didn't even know what neo=pagan was and it is a little too out there for me (besides, I'm sure there is no box to check for that on any form known to man.)

    Todd – I had Reform Judaism close to the top which made me a little giddy. And, I'm glad your job is secure; I like having you around.

    Millie – a computer would never match us up – we are a horrible combo on paper.

    Tam – it will never happen. I asked him why he wouldn't do it and he said, "I'm afraid you'll meet someone else." Which is nonsense.

    Anne – I should have been clearer. I wasn't mocking religion, but did find the idea of Belief-O-Matic a little funny. Still, what ever gets us there, right? Maybe this silly on-line quiz would be the thing to bring someone into the fold. That wouldn't be such a bad thing, would it? Also, I'm not lost, I'm searching. It's entirely different.

  9. My results (taken awhile ago) were very close to yours. As a more than 20 year member of UU, I can promise you this: you will like us. And that is the most proselytizing you will ever see from UU. 🙂

  10. Don't care for cafeteria-style religions (little of this, little of that) – they always sound fake. Unitarian Universalism? Come on.

  11. I'm always a little skeptical of Oprah's motivation…which religion advances her political agenda? Or proclaims her God, for that matter?

  12. Very interesting: neo-paganism. I have no idea what that is; I must check it out. Have a great week-end..now that real week-end are back.

  13. Mrs. Blandings,
    Great post. I am in favor of searching (and questioning.) For the record I scored 100% Secular Humanist. Growing up I was halfheartedly exposed to the Unitarian church by my liberal parents. Our tribe has left that behind and are concentrating on being nice people who care for others in the world without an organized religion. I like what Deepak Chopra said, "God gave humans the truth, and the devil came and he said, 'Let's give it a name and call it religion.'" I believe religion separates people. I believe religion was conceived in order to control the masses. And, I am an interior designer and think it's perfectly OK to open up a discussion of religion in a design blog.

  14. Mrs. Blandings. I love it when you search-I think it comes very close to the questions I often have, and others on a thoughtful search. I am inclusive in what I feel in terms of faiths. Anon. 10:05 expresses my thoughts well-especially as we witness a crazed religious fanatic with plans to burn books of the Koran-on a par with what we in the states refer to as radical Islam. False prophets abound in this world today. I applaud your wanderings here and wonderings too. Consider yourself infinitely lucky that your Mr. is not into match! a keeper. Ive tried it-another false prophet -online dating. pgt (oh yeah-we are kneeling somewhere side by side on the 20 questions to a T. All hail billy baldwin.)

  15. Cyndia and anon – thanks for the invite.

    Cafeteria anon – they are all flawed as they are created by humans.

    Oprah anon – can't begin to evaluate Oprah's motivations, but she is one of those people who I feel like would be my friend if we met on a plane.

    Mary – neo-paganism seemed cockoo for coco puffs even to a liberal "be nice to everyone and maybe they'll be nice to you" believer.

    Secular Humanist anon – I completely agree. I think that is what keeps me away.

    Tish – thanks for hanging around – I'm sure this won't be the last "searching" post.

    Anon – I will, thank you.

    Katie – it's that groovy California upbringing. 🙂

  16. You and I think alike…I also had New Age and Scientology (yikes!) in the mix. Maybe I'll move to Southern California and get into acting…

    My lowest? Roman Catholic. And that is the church we go to. Maybe that explains why we never go?

  17. Very happy to see all the positive responses, you have a good following! If you liked Mary Karr you might try reading some of Ann Lamott books. She writes about writing and finding spirituality (although not at the same time). She has a great sense of humor I think you would appreciate!
    Please keep writing whatever you feel like, I always enjoy someone who writes intelligent, thoughtful prose with a good sense of humor!

    tracy holland

  18. But aren't we supposed to conform to God's will – not the other way around? Shopping religions seems…irreverent. It's as if we are saying, "I am my own God and will create my own hybrid religion to suit my desires -rather than yielding to an established religion that has stood the test of time and comes from God."

    And, by the way, Mrs. Blandings, Catholics believe their church was founded by Jesus Christ Himself, not man.

  19. Anon – I'm not quite sure I'm following here. Would practicing Catholicism be God's will for me? So he, and not my mother, chose it? Or perhaps His will sent me to Belief-O-Matic to guide me to a community that would bring me closer to the divine. And my sister, who is incredibly devout, but not a practicing Catholic either, has she lost her way? Tough to say. Also, most of the religious leaders I admire seem to encourage a little irreverence, some healthy questioning.

    And, I've re-read my post twice, but don't see in it anywhere any mention of the origins of the Church, so I'm not quite sure of the relevance of that last statement.

  20. I can see taking this test for fun, but if you are really seeking divine inspiration and a quickening of your spirit to faith, this is hardly the way to do it. Don't go to a religion buffet to find truth. Go to the scriptures and allow that truth to be revealed to you.

  21. I will take this quiz. But wanted to note, I suppose we're searching for the same thing, because my biggest ads are always CB2, One King's Lane and the like. Google is the new religion!

  22. I don't think God deals in "Belief-o-matics," so I doubt it was He who sent you there.

    Of course, I can't be sure of that… mysterious ways and all.

    But, re my origins of the church comment – you replied to cafeteria anon that "they (I assumed religions) are all flawed as they were created by humans."

    I was merely pointing out that Catholicism was not created by humans.

  23. It doesn't take must scratching into the history of the Catholic Church to find that many of its rituals and beliefs were borrowed from Pagan religions. All religions are "man-made." I think searching is good. It's when people close their minds that religion gets scary.

  24. I think people who are open to anything are the scary ones.

    Dark is correct, however, in that some early Catholic leaders encouraged pagan rituals to continue for a while. This was to help the people make the transition into the faith a little easier. You can't expect people to change everything overnight.

    Therefore, Mrs. Blandings and other searchers, I bid you farewell, and wish you all the best on your spiritual journeys, praying that you find the truth, however long it may take.

    Peace be with you.

  25. Friends, there is a wonderful book called The New Age Counterfeit, which I highly recommend to anyone attracted by these "out of the mainstream" religions. Not sure of the author's name at the moment – very intriguing, though.

    God bless.

  26. I am late to this conversation so it may be useless but I am amazed when people will find such meaning in the latest new age guru book or fad religion and consider it so deep and meaningful. Yet some of those people will discount Christianity that has been studied and researched by theologians and scholars for centuries. I think most of the objections are the "sacrifices" that may be asked of them such as refrain from sin or they don't like to be judged. Sometimes the world and people need to be judged. There really is right/wrong, good/evil and we need to change our behavior because of shame. We are so self-centered in this time and place we do not want to give up anything or any behavior. I can't say that any of the posters I have read are searching for any of those reasons but I truly believe lots of people continue to search for a "religion" to make them feel good about themselves. One day I hope you figure it out. It is a peaceful place to be

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