The Lives of (Us and) Others

In March, my middle son returned from college with the entire contents of his college room. Besides duffles stuffed with clothes, he brought a four-foot tall brown plastic dresser, a television, a PlayStation console, 20 of 24 cans of Coors Light and a bottle of whiskey that he placed on his bedside table.

I quietly closed the door.

Two days later as the youngest played games on the television downstairs with his brother who was upstairs, I said, “Let’s move the TV from the third floor to your room.”

I’ve never allowed TVs in the bedrooms and have never had one. But in the midst of the pandemic shutdown I began to reevaluate how we used – and defined – home. Individual comfort became a much higher priority than any sort of life lesson I deluded myself into thinking I was imparting.

After giving my youngest the free pass for a bedroom television I went upstairs to talk to his brother.

“Darling, let’s put the beer in the refrigerator and you can keep the whiskey in the kitchen.”

His blue eyes were wary under the ever-growing stock of strawberry blond curls that he tossed out of his eyes.

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Things are challenging enough. There’s no reason to drink warm beer.”

He blinked.

“I’ll keep the whiskey up here.”

I took a deep breath, nodded and went back to my office to download Zoom or some such thing in order to keep my work moving.

The oldest was back a few weeks later, which put us at full occupancy. While there were times that the house rang out with the familiar, “Mom! He’s…. [fill in the blank with any annoying thing someone would do who’ve you’ve shared limited space with for six weeks], the summer went better than I anticipated. Mostly, they like each other and no one drank his brother’s hooch. That went a long way.

The boys’ father and I have done our best to wrangle our crew into thoughtful civility while acknowledging that human interaction is a reasonable expectation. Of my “pod,” we’ve had a handful of COVID-19 tests, all but one negative, though we are wary of all the results. We are doing the best we can.

As extraverted as I am, there are worse things for me than being confined to home. We have used every inch, inside and out, and she’s continued to offer the same sort of solace that she did when I walked through the door for the first time over six years ago. Being at home has also made me realize that life is far too short and too precious to tolerate the kitchen any longer. Stay tuned.

The remarkable images from this post are from the new book The Lives of Others: Sublime Interiors of Extraordinary People by Simon Watson. Not only are Watson’s images and subjects stunning, his insights into his projects are engaging. If you haven’t been able to get away, this book would be a delightful escape.

I do hope that you and yours and doing well.

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14 thoughts on “The Lives of (Us and) Others

  1. Thanks so much for checking in! I have missed your essays. If you haven’t picked up Becoming Duchess Goldblatt you should. Think the Two of you would become fast friends!

  2. I loved hearing from you. And delighted to learn of Simon’s new book, which I shall order forthwith. I seems like yesterday you were moving and your young sons with you. Best wishes.

  3. Love the photos, and the wisdom exercised all around. Thanks for another great post, both a reminder of happy times and a reason to smile.

  4. I suspect you are really thrilled to have all your kids back home with you. The book you are recommending really struck a chord. Everyone I know has a unique personality, yet how few have a unique decor, such that anyone who saw the room would know immediately to whom it belonged. I liked the photo best with all the marble pieces, although they committed the (to me) arch-sin of covering a bookshelf with a painting. Art is wonderful, but books require access.
    –Jim

  5. this book is the kind of trip we’re able to take these days. an interior journey, often the best kind.

  6. Good to hear from you and hope all continues to be well. I’ll be 71 next month (egads!) and I haven’t been past the end of my driveway since the second week in March! I’ve become Klinger on the ordering/delivering process. Everything that we have eaten, I have cooked. Big Sighs. Sometimes on a bad day, I’ll say “Let’s just eat out today.” I like hearing the words, the memories of times, the grateful lack of cleanup. Lawrence did well with lock down, but the student return as been exponential in cases and the expectation that after lockdown they deserve the full college experience. Bar hopping is not a Zoom experience they wanted. We are in a difficult place right now. Personally, I don’t know how this experiment will work out, until then we continue. Do tell your middle son, we we “forced” to join three wine clubs to get enough wine for these uncertain time!

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